I had intended to take up my 'Reasons to be cheerful' theme in this posting but a number of disconnected events coalesced into something that certainly isn't a laughing matter. These events are:
1. The report that the Welsh footballer, Chad Evans, has just been sentenced to 5 years in prison for raping a teenager who was too drunk to give consent to have sex with him.
2. A small piece in the latest issue of New Internationalist detailing the use of rape as a weapon of oppression and/or war in many parts of the world.
3. Some preparation I am doing before I update, at their request, a local school on progress with Amnesty International's Violence against Women campaign
In many countries, the UK included, women's vulnerability to rape is a common theme of public service announcements. More often than not, however, these awareness campaigns are aimed at women, telling them how to avoid being raped, how they should prevent sexual harassment by dressing appropriately etc. The not-so-subtle implication is that women are in some way responsible and, if only they were sensible, they can avoid problems. Let's not miss the point - the onus for preventing rape does not lie with the victim: it lies with the perpetrator. I agree with those who argue that stopping rape and harassment by men requires telling them not to do those things. In this context it's good to see that there are many instances of anti-rape advertisements directed towards men. However, with reference to one that I've seen recently, I do wonder if such messages should really be communicated with a women's nearly naked navel, crotch and thighs and some suggestive text. It just seems perverse to me to use a sexualised image to prevent unwanted sexual behaviour. Isn't the sexualisation of women part of the problem? An oft-quoted mantra by those in the advertising industry is that 'sex sells' but surely it doesn't have to be that way for absolutely everything?I mentioned that I'll be wearing my Amnesty International school speaker's hat soon and talking in a local school about the Violence against Women campaign. I hope I can give the students (Years 11, 12 and 13) some food for thought. Although I certainly would not want to come across as 'preachy' (and that's not my role anyway), I will try and address some specific points directly to the males in the classes. I'd like to challenge their attitudes to women and I'll try and weave in the following:
1. Respect women's autonomy over their own bodies. Accept and trust that they are the best people to
make choices for their bodies and themselves. Accept that "No" means
"No" --and recognise that silence does NOT equal consent. Acknowledge
that only "Yes" means "Yes."
2. Respect women's moral agency. Accept and trust that they are the best people to make moral choices for themselves. Recognise that their moral choices are theirs to make. They are the ones who have to live with them, not you--so it is not up to you to make them for any woman.
3. Show respect for women by the things you say. Don't call women "bitches," "sluts," "whores," "c***s," or any other derogatory name that is tied to the feminine. If you feel the need to insult a particular woman, there are plenty of words you can use that don't demean all women.
3a. As a corollary to the above, don't use the feminine as an insult to other men. When you call a man or boy a "pussy," or a "sissy," or tell him that he does X "like a girl," you turn being a woman into an insult.
4. Show respect for women by the media you use. Be mindful that sexism in the media pollutes our culture and does incalculable damage to women and girls. Take the time to ask yourself if the films you watch, the lyrics and imagery of the music you listen to, the books/magazines/websites you read, the jokes you laugh at, etc., send positive or negative messages about women. Press for change where you can--and take your attention and money elsewhere where you can't. Don't support it by paying for it.
5. Remember where the problem lies. The only person responsible for sexual assault is the person who violates another person's bodily autonomy (see #1). It doesn't matter what a woman was wearing, where she was, who she was with, whether she was drinking or taking drugs, whether she's ever been sexually active (with the perpetrator or anyone else), etc. Stop putting the burden on women to prevent sexual assault (they can't) and start holding your own gender accountable for committing it.
I could go on, but these are the big issues as I see them. They are mostly about respecting another person's rights. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all do that?
2. Respect women's moral agency. Accept and trust that they are the best people to make moral choices for themselves. Recognise that their moral choices are theirs to make. They are the ones who have to live with them, not you--so it is not up to you to make them for any woman.
3. Show respect for women by the things you say. Don't call women "bitches," "sluts," "whores," "c***s," or any other derogatory name that is tied to the feminine. If you feel the need to insult a particular woman, there are plenty of words you can use that don't demean all women.
3a. As a corollary to the above, don't use the feminine as an insult to other men. When you call a man or boy a "pussy," or a "sissy," or tell him that he does X "like a girl," you turn being a woman into an insult.
4. Show respect for women by the media you use. Be mindful that sexism in the media pollutes our culture and does incalculable damage to women and girls. Take the time to ask yourself if the films you watch, the lyrics and imagery of the music you listen to, the books/magazines/websites you read, the jokes you laugh at, etc., send positive or negative messages about women. Press for change where you can--and take your attention and money elsewhere where you can't. Don't support it by paying for it.
5. Remember where the problem lies. The only person responsible for sexual assault is the person who violates another person's bodily autonomy (see #1). It doesn't matter what a woman was wearing, where she was, who she was with, whether she was drinking or taking drugs, whether she's ever been sexually active (with the perpetrator or anyone else), etc. Stop putting the burden on women to prevent sexual assault (they can't) and start holding your own gender accountable for committing it.
I could go on, but these are the big issues as I see them. They are mostly about respecting another person's rights. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all do that?
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