What was I thinking when I bought this: Part X.

During a recent forage into the geological time warp that passes as 'my wardrobe', I came across a tie I used to wear. I can just about remember buying it (in Bromley?) as an ordinary tie for work and, I must admit, I could make this one of my most prized possessions: let's face it, ties this hideous aren't easy to find. Yes, you can buy lots of joke ties that are intentionally horrid, but what makes this thing so awesome is that someone designed it in the 70's-80's as a serious tie for men to wear to work, business meetings, weddings or whatever. And I paid good money for it and did just that.

When I saw it again (my Howard Carter moment), I knew I'd stumbled on something rare and worth keeping. Someday I'm sure one of my descendants will think the same.

Unfortunately (or should that be 'fortunately'?), the picture doesn't do the bright colours justice. The vibrant reds, oranges, pinks, yellows, golds and a few previously undescribed hues make a pattern so striking that .....it looks like someone has thrown up.

Also, it's so wide at the bottom that you could wear a midriff-exposing shirt and no one would notice. Ah, here's a thought: perhaps with my increasing paunch, I ought to start wearing it again?