Why should we support the feckless, lazy and irresponsible? How can we help them change their ways and become more responsible members of society? Here are a few suggestions:
Gang Culture
Break up their vicious criminal gangs by arresting the ringleaders and locking them up. Perhaps starting with those attending the World Economic Forum.
Parenting
Provide parenting classes for the feral rich to teach them social values and respect for others that they can pass on to their offspring.
Housing
Move them out of their overvalued ghettos in the centres of the world's capitals. Turn over the properties they own but rarely occupy to public use and social housing.
Crime and Rehab
Crack down on repeat climate-crime offenders by confiscating their luxury cars and private jets. Rehabilitate persistent offenders by teaching them how to walk and use public transport.
Employment
Wean the work-shy off the benefits of unearned profit. Break trust-fund dependence. Get undeserving recipients on to work experience schemes.
Anti-social behaviour
Use 'tough love' to deal with those who engage in risky behaviour, who gamble, cheat and deceive and then expect the public to bail them out of trouble. Ground them, tag them and ban them from using the internet to vandalize the global economy.
Profligacy
Target contraception towards problem families with morbidly obese carbon footprints fuelled by irresponsible lifestyles.
Vandalism
Get them to clear up after themselves. Remember Bhopal? Gulf of Mexico? Niger Delta?
Social Conscience
Teach them to start paying their own way. Lesson #1: Pay your tax. Just because tax avoidance is legal, it doesn't mean it's not morally reprehensible.
Restorative Justice
Get overpaid execs who helped themselves to bonuses from bailed-out banks and businesses to face the victims of their crime and repay the money they owe.
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