Saturday 28 January 2012

Sir Fred and Corporal Jones


I think virtually everyone, with the presumed exception of Sir Fred himself, is agreed that he should be stripped of his knighthood. What strikes me as a little sad is that now this process is carried out by some dull and boring committee. Not so in days of yore as this little historical fact I came across indicates.
In 1621 two knights (businessmen coincidentally) were found guilty of exercising harsh monopolies over the licensing of inns and suffered the punishment of being publicly degraded. A contemporary report says:
'Sir Francis Mitchell's sword and gilt spurs, being ornaments of knighthood were broken and defaced.......one of the Knight Marshal's men...cut the belt whereby the culprits sword hung, so let it fall to the ground. Next the spurs were hewn off his heels and thrown, one one way the other the other. After that the Marshal's attendant drew Mitchell's sword from his scabbard and broke it over his head...'

Great stuff. That's what I call stripping someone of his knighthood. I bet if it were done in Westminster Hall, it would be standing room only with tickets probably changing hands for well over a thousand pounds. And think of the price the TV screening rights would get. A large part of our debt cancelled at a stroke and a good precedent set.
Do it to Sir Fred and see all the others fall into line. To quote the bard of Warmington-on-Sea: "they don't like it up 'em".

Sunday 22 January 2012

Responsible Capitalism: a political oxymoron

The papers and TV are full of it: British politics has a new battleground. And not just any old battleground, mind you. One that promises to define the prevailing ideology. We are hearing lots of talk of 'responsible capitalism' and 'moral capitalism'. No doubt someone (probably Nick Clegg who seems to be developing a penchant for making vacuous statements) will soon be waxing lyrical about 'cuddly capitalism'. Personally I like the idea of 'People's Capitalism', but that's just the old leftie in me.
Tory Dave and Hapless Ed are locked in mortal combat over ownership of this supposedly lucrative piece of political real estate. Labour’s leader sees an opportunity; the Conservatives a threat. For Ed it is the chance to show that he is setting the agenda, that he's making the weather – and that he’s not as crap as everyone thinks he is (too late, Ed, you are heading for Edmegedon and it's not that far away). For Dave it represents an exposed flank, a dark cloud on a relatively untroubled horizon. Plus, he’s got to do it because Ed’s forced him to (and it gives him an opportunity to show us his caring face. Don't you just love it when he does 'sincere'?).
As you may have guess from the title of this posting, I've got very little time for their apologies for capitalism. I'd love someone (and by rights it should be Ed) to be advocating a democratic socialist alternative to it. Anything else is pussyfooting around with a bankrupt system that has clearly had its day. There needs to be a fundamental change in the way we manage our affairs. We need to replace free market madness, with its inbuilt greed and selfishness, with a system of sharing and co-operation.
To quote the late lamented Bill Shankly (one-time manager of Liverpool Football Club): "The socialism I believe in is not really politics. It is a way of living. It is humanity. I believe the only way to live and to be truly successful is by collective effort, with everyone working for each other, everyone helping each other, and everyone having a share of the rewards at the end of the day". I compare those words to the latest inane utterings from Ed about 'responsible capitalism' and weep.

Monday 2 January 2012

Yipee! It's 2012

Yes, it's that time when all politicians burden us with their thoughts on the year to come.
David Cameron has promised to use the "global drama" of the Olympics and "glory" of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee to help get Britain "up to strength". "This will be the year Britain sees the world and the world sees Britain," he has said in his New Year message. How inspirational and there'll be dancing in the lanes of Stoke Climsland from citizens excited by the prospect of such splendours. Ah, the sting in the tail: he admitted 2012 would be difficult as the economy struggled. You can see the man himself delivering his homily here.
In his New Year message, hapless Ed Miliband said his party must convince people in 2012 that "optimism can defeat despair". The UK needed "profound change" to avoid a future of struggling to compete in the world and called on politicians to show they could make a difference.
To complete the trio of Jeremiahs, the Dan Quayle of British politics, Nick Clegg, said the New Year posed "many great challenges for everyone", adding that his party had ensured the coalition government was helping people.

Let's accept that 2012 is not going to be an easy one: the financial crisis has got some way to run yet and we certainly haven't seen the worse of the Coalition policies. Neither should we forget what is going on elsewhere in the world: we are not alone in facing huge issues. Notwithstanding all the doom and gloom, there will be many good things about 2012 that we should not lose sight of. Here are a few from me: add your own to the list.
* The sun will rise and set every day.
* Most people will eat, laugh and love more than they are hungry, cry and hate.
* The world around us will continue to provide immense pleasure to those who take time to experience it.
* Many people will practice unsolicited random acts of kindness.
* Communities and organisations will continue to work together and make the lives of many immeasurably better.
* Most of us will continue to relish the companionship and support of our network of family and friends.
* Children will be born and received into the arms of loving parents.
* Healthcare professionals will successfully treat millions of us for a wide variety of illnesses and diseases.
* Other public service professionals and employees will continue to keep us safe and contribute to our good standard standard of living.

Each of us can accomplish something worthwhile in 2012: let's remember the Boy Scout motto of doing a good deed every day! Here endeth today's sermon.