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Am I the only one who shouts at the TV? I seem to have started doing this recently (correct me if I'm wrong, Mrs P, maybe I've been doing it for ever) and I'm thinking it must be a product of my age. As an example, here's a typical exchange as I watched a Xmas Quiz show that drove me into an apoplectic frenzy.
Question: What bird can swim, but not fly?
a. Eagle.
b. Seagull.
c. Penguin.
d. Seal.
Contestant: "Gosh, let me think. An eagle can fly and some dive to catch fish, but I don't think they can swim. Have they got webbed feet? Hmm, a seagull is around water a lot and I don't think a seal is even a bird. Er, ah, mmmm, ah.....".
Me: “PENGUIN, YOU IDIOT, IT’S A PENGUIN!! GOOD GRIEF, THESE ARE THE EASY ONES, DUMMY!!”
Mrs P, in another room, gets panicky: “What's up? Why are you shouting?".
Me: “BECAUSE THIS DUMB NUTS IS TAKING FOREVER TO ANSWER AN EASY QUESTION.”
The ever sensible Mrs P counters, in the slow authoritative voice she adopts when she really means business: “It's TV! IT IS ONLY A TV SHOW. Calm down and stop shouting”.
I don’t know why I shout, I never used to shout. But the reality is that when you get older you have no patience. I feel like I am losing two and a half minutes of my life that I will never get back waiting for some idiot to say “penguin.” So I shout.
I also shout at films: “DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT YOU CLOWN. WHEN YOU HEAR HEAVY BREATHING, RUN THE OTHER WAY!!".
And I especially shout at commercials: “NO LADY, YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE, BUT NOT YOU”.
Apart from this single deviation, I don’t shout at home. I don’t shout in shops. I don’t shout in the car (OK, maybe a little), I don’t shout at the radio and I don’t shout at what I read (wisely I avoid the Daily Mail otherwise I'd be hoarse in a matter of milli-seconds). What is it about getting older that makes me shout at the TV? Answers on a postcard please.
a. Eagle.
b. Seagull.
c. Penguin.
d. Seal.
Contestant: "Gosh, let me think. An eagle can fly and some dive to catch fish, but I don't think they can swim. Have they got webbed feet? Hmm, a seagull is around water a lot and I don't think a seal is even a bird. Er, ah, mmmm, ah.....".
Me: “PENGUIN, YOU IDIOT, IT’S A PENGUIN!! GOOD GRIEF, THESE ARE THE EASY ONES, DUMMY!!”
Mrs P, in another room, gets panicky: “What's up? Why are you shouting?".
Me: “BECAUSE THIS DUMB NUTS IS TAKING FOREVER TO ANSWER AN EASY QUESTION.”
The ever sensible Mrs P counters, in the slow authoritative voice she adopts when she really means business: “It's TV! IT IS ONLY A TV SHOW. Calm down and stop shouting”.
I don’t know why I shout, I never used to shout. But the reality is that when you get older you have no patience. I feel like I am losing two and a half minutes of my life that I will never get back waiting for some idiot to say “penguin.” So I shout.
I also shout at films: “DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT YOU CLOWN. WHEN YOU HEAR HEAVY BREATHING, RUN THE OTHER WAY!!".
And I especially shout at commercials: “NO LADY, YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE, BUT NOT YOU”.
Apart from this single deviation, I don’t shout at home. I don’t shout in shops. I don’t shout in the car (OK, maybe a little), I don’t shout at the radio and I don’t shout at what I read (wisely I avoid the Daily Mail otherwise I'd be hoarse in a matter of milli-seconds). What is it about getting older that makes me shout at the TV? Answers on a postcard please.
Postscript: As this is Christmas Day, I should mention that I never, never shout at the Queen's Xmas Broadcast ...because I never, never watch it. But I may very well have a rant during Downton Abbey later on this evening.
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