A cure for Brexit Blues?

I don't know about you but this Brexit malarkey is starting to get me down in the dumps. What I need is a way of reinvigorating myself. If only I could go back in time to 1906 and get a dose of electro-vibration

Bradford Telegraph: 22nd February 1906

If only I could attend the Medical-Electro Vibration Institute in Manningham, Bradford and take up their offer of a "free consultation and examination by the X-Rays which tell to a certainty what your ailment is". And that ailment could be: "Rheumatism, Gout, Stomach Diseases, Indigestion, Flatulency, Sluggish Liver, Lumbago, Sciatica, Infantile Paralysis, Locomotor Ataxy, Bronchitis, Heart Disease, Nervous Disease, Consumption, Asthma, Deafness, Neuralgia, Sprains, Venritis, Synovitis, Varicose Veins .... and that well known disease recognised by quack doctors the world over, "etc". I don't know about you, but I have just done a quick check of that list and I suspect I suffer from at least 90% of them.

If only I could avail myself of the full range of treatments they offer: Non-Electrical vibration, Electrical Vibration, the Static Spray, Static Breeze Cathaporic and ozone inhalation treatment, the Electric Wave, Lynden Jar and Start Treatment, Treatment by the Violent Antinlight as used in cases of Consumption, Cancer, Lupus and various Skin Diseases. And to top it all off, "Psychological Medicine is used in mental derangement and habits".

If only all this was available on the NHS.

If only I could be like Mr J Chance of 15, Bridge Street, Halifax, who went to the Institute with a knee that he had been unable to bend for 20 years, and after a course of perfectly painless treatment he was amazed to find that he could bend the said knee.  

If only Brexit would go away.

If only I could get Johnny Kidd and the Pirates out of my mind.