Elected for Brexit and not for competence

At the beginning of all of this, I really was prepared, and I did try (I did, I did, I really did), to give the government the benefit of the doubt over their handling of the Covid-19 crisis. But as time goes on and more information comes to light, I'm no longer willing to do that. So, to business and another rant. Being in isolation (and up a ladder painting) gives me plenty of time to mull things over.

I'm not alone in thinking that, when the history of this pandemic is written, one of the villains of the story will be our beloved PM. At a time of global emergency, he seems to be living down to the very worst expectations of his critics and was absent from duty (no, not just because of his illness). In a seriously damning article – and moreover one in a traditionally Tory-supporting newspaper – the Sunday Times laid out the evidence for BJ’s disturbing lack of diligence and interest in performing the task which he so eagerly sought. The position of Prime Minister is one which he has lied in order to get and, let's be honest, it should come as no surprise that he is not performing honestly or with honour in a position which he acted so dishonestly and dishonourably to win. No surprise then but, even so, it’s still shocking to see the extent of it laid bare. The article itself is accessible by subscription only, but some kind soul has published an archive version which is free for all to read. If you haven’t already done so, you should read it now. And you should also make sure that everyone you know reads it too, especially those who still have some lingering trust in the good faith of this British government to look after our interests. The link to the full article is HERE.

It has been known for some time that a pandemic was one of the most serious threats that the world faced. Like an earthquake in California, no scientist could say when the big one would strike, they could only warn that it was inevitable that at some point it would. It would be bad enough if the British government was warned that a serious crisis was in the offing and it did nothing. But it's worse than that. Between 2001 and 2010 the UK was a world leader in terms of its preparations and planning for a pandemic. However, when the Conservatives took office, the British government ran down its preparations, defunded them and deliberately neglected them in order to focus on Brexit and austerity. They knew the earthquake was coming, and they deliberately undermined the foundations of the house in order to give tax breaks to the wealthy. Calls to order PPE fell on deaf ears. Scientific warnings went unheeded.

At the start of February, when it ought to have been clear that a major catastrophe was about to befall us unless immediate action was taken, Boris Johnson gave a speech in London in which he likened the UK to a superhero defying the virus to keep free trade going. It was the crassest example imaginable of delusional British exceptionalism. Boris Johnson was determined to keep the economy running, while other nations went into lockdown. We obviously were made of sterner stuff than the Italians or Chinese. In the words of a senior Downing Street advisor quoted by the Sunday Times article, “We were the envy of the world but pandemic planning became a casualty of the austerity years when there were more pressing needs.” Those more pressing needs were to run down public services and to pursue a no-deal Brexit. People are dying because the British state, the Conservative party, could only handle one idea at a time.

We have learned that, even as the true dangers of this pandemic were coming to light, Boris Johnson couldn’t be bothered to attend the first five Cobra meetings, being too preoccupied with his personal life. He wasn’t interested in chairing meetings. Colleagues were told to keep briefing papers short, because the Prime Minister couldn’t be arsed to read anything longer than a page. And instead of attending and chairing vital meetings to plan the UK’s response to the looming threat of Covid-19, Boris Johnson preferred to spend time relaxing with his girlfriend, and trying to repair the rift his new relationship had created between himself and his children.

Now the UK is on course to be the European state with the highest death toll from this virus, both in absolute terms and per head of population. It’s for good reason that the Conservative government only publishes the statistics for deaths in hospitals, because there are reports that there could already be as many as 7500 additional death in care homes on top of the 15,464 that the UK government’s figures admit to. This is the estimate made by the care home organisation Care England, and it’s several times higher than the estimate of 1500 made by the British government. If this estimate is accurate this would take the true number of deaths from the virus in the UK to around 23000, a death toll which is the same of that of Italy and greater than Spain’s. And we’ve not seen the last yet. The blame for this lies squarely with Boris Johnson and the British government which he leads. Still want to clap for Boris? There are 15,464 people plus God knows how many more who won’t be clapping for anything ever again.

The catalogue of errors and missteps is legion. Far from ensuring that the UK possessed sufficient stockpiles of PPE to see the NHS through a pandemic, in January this year this British government exported hundreds of thousands of items from its stockpile to China. The government initially believed that this epidemic was going to act like the regular outbreaks of flu, and so pursued its disastrous herd immunity strategy. It was only after the realisation dawned that Covid-19 is not like the flu, that as many as 250,000 would have to die before sufficient natural immunity built up within the population was the policy abandoned. Or at least we were told it was abandoned. We are still nowhere near the level of testing required in order to achieve the kind of test, trace, isolate policy which has allowed countries like South Korea or Singapore to contain the epidemic successfully. The Sunday Times tells us, in the final indignity, that the British model of epidemic preparedness was adopted by Singapore, the difference is that Singapore implemented it whereas the UK abandoned it to pursue Brexit and austerity.

We see the UK’s lack of planning and preparedness in the fact that it’s one of the few places in Europe where travellers can fly in without having to go into quarantine. As a consequence the UK is now a magnet for the super rich who are using their private jets to come to the UK to escape more severe restrictions elsewhere.

We’re living in a state where a 99 year old man seems to do more to assist the NHS than the British government. Tom Moore is rightly hailed for his magnificent efforts, but a society only needs to rely on charity when government has failed. It is a scandal that public services have to be funded by the efforts of an elderly man doing a marathon around his garden on a zimmer frame.

Boris Johnson has given abundance evidence to those who said that he merely wanted to win the job of Prime Minister, he didn’t actually want to do it. It was always, and is now, an exercise in entitlement and egoism from a supremely privileged charlatan. As a result of the negligence, lack of preparedness, complacency, and sheer outright British exceptionalist arrogance of the Westminster government which he leads, thousands of British citizens may have died needlessly. We are paying for his entitlement with our lives.
In any other profession, Boris Johnson would be facing charges of negligence. As it is, he will try to ride out this storm, and then deflect criticisms by promising a public enquiry after the crisis is over. This will be a public enquiry in the long tradition of British public enquiries, full of activity, witnesses, and earnest promises which will conclude by telling us that a couple of minor civil servants may have been less than diligent in performing their duties while letting the likes of Boris Johnson off free.

What ought to be written on the political tombstone of this Conservative government are the words of a senior advisor within the Department of Health who told the Sunday Times, “We could have been Germany but instead we were doomed by our incompetence, our hubris and our austerity.”

40 new hospitals was a lie. We are better prepared for a pandemic than anywhere else was a lie. £350M for the NHS when we leave the EU was a lie. 50,000 extra nurses was a lie. There’s plenty of PPE to go round was a lie.  There’s plenty of opportunities awaiting the UK once we leave the EU was a lie. 

Anywhere where there’s a properly functioning democracy, a government would not survive a scandal of this magnitude.  Where incompetence and deceit on such an epic scale has been revealed, the Prime Minister would resign and the government would fall. But this is the UK, not a properly functioning democracy. This is a government which cannot be held to account. And let's remember, Boris and his dysfunctional team were only elected to deliver Brexit, not to give us competent governance.

Good wishes to our PM

Readers of this blog will know that I dislike Boris Johnson intensely. And you'll know that I think he’s a thoroughly contemptible human being. He’s a proven liar, a charlatan, a fraud, and a smirking entitled buffoon who is nowhere near as clever as he thinks he is. But I don’t wish death on him. Humiliation and political ruin, sure, but you’d have to be completely immoral to wish a slow agonising death from coronavirus on a person. If we seek to condemn him and his like, we need to have a more nuanced and highly developed sense of morality than, for example, Priti Patel or Michael Gove.

Boris Johnson is currently in intensive care and anyone who is in intensive care right now is seriously, properly, ill. They deserve nothing but our good will and the hope that they make it though this dreadful trial. There but for the grace of the major and minor gods go any one of us. So I’d just like to say that I wish the PM a speedy return to full health. I’d like him to recover, so that he can be held accountable for the screw up that he and his administration have made of handling the epidemic. I hope that he makes a full and rapid recovery so that for the rest of his life we can remind him that karma is spelled H.E.R.D.I.M.M.U.N.I.T.Y. I want Boris him to get better soon so that we can remind him that, when he mouths platitudes like “we’re all in this together”, for once it means him too. And most of all, I’d like him to recover so that he can gaze upon the consequences of his handiwork when we leave the EU.

Purdah Blog Part 2: Excelsior Woods

Ignoring the context, we are settling into a not unpleasant routine of self-isolation, with a lot of help from some good weather. Pottering the house and garden doing some jobs, going for a walk late afternoon, observing the correct degree of separation, of course, and then settling down for the evening. Early days yet but off to a good start.

This evening's walk - around 1.5 miles - took us down to a nearby ford and then up and around Excelsior Woods, also known as Deer Park Woods. Way back in the 1300s, the original Duke of Cornwall did have a deer park - Kerribullock - around here. Nowadays the only remaining signs of this are some stretches of the original boundary wall.

A surprising find - a currant bush of some sort.

In these woods it's really not difficult to keep 6 foot from anyone we may come across, but we didn't.

The name, Excelsior Woods comes from this mine. The tunnel was driven with the intention of intersecting the North Engine Shaft of Kit Hill Mine (situated near the stack at the summit of the hill) at a point 660 feet below the surface. This would have drained the mine around the shaft and the ³⁄₄ mile long tunnel may have cut through a number of undiscovered tin and copper lodes that were believed to exist beneath Kit Hill.
Miners began driving the 8’X 8’ tunnel in about 1880 but a shortage of funds led to the abandonment of the tunnel a few years later when it was only half way to North Engine Shaft. Work was recommenced on a smaller scale in the late 1930’s under the auspices of a local chemist and tin miner Captain George Moor. An air compressor for working rock drills was installed near the entrance, with an air line to the working face 2100 feet in, while there were hand-operated fans and their associated trunking to provide fresh air and to clear smoke from the tunnel after blasting. A single line tram road ran the length of the tunnel.
Captain Moor continued the tunnel southward for a short distance at a reduced size but it was then abandoned and attention switched to reworking the old mine dump area near the entrance for Wolfram. This dump was worked out by 1941 and a small shaft was then sunk at the southern end of the wood which yielded some wolfram. By 1942 new plant had been installed on the site and it’s recorded that at least two tons of Wolfram were recovered. The project was, however, short lived and all mining ceased by 1946. There was some further development of the shaft by Nthe ew Consols Mine at Luckett in the late 1940’s or early 1950’s but in 1954 it was found to be abandoned and no further mining has taken place since that date

Looking into the tunnel. With a decent pair of wellies, it's possible to go in quite a way. I've done this once but could only go so far as I didn't have a headlamp with me. Something for the future. And a reminder from the past: the infamous Dark Arch at Bedwas Pit (see here to find out more. It's spooky).)

Just listen to the water dripping off the walls. You can also make out some birds chirping in the background and Mrs P yawning.

More water. Sounds lovely...……..

 

………..but needs some careful negotiation on the way back. The best way is straight across.

Hooray, our Magnolia stellate is coming into blossom.

And the sun goes down in the west.

Purdah Blog: Part !

In deference to age (only  mine fall into the relevant category) and underlying medical issues (only mine fall into the relevant category), we've entered into isolation and social exclusion. To a miserable old introvert like me, it's like all my Christmases at once! A slight exaggeration there but I suspect I am better equipped for not seeing people than most. And anyway, my ideal companion is stuck here with me.  Being incarcerated with someone you don't get on with doesn't bear thinking about, does it? We are lucky as there are certainly worse places to be under these circumstances: our garden is big enough for us to potter around in and it's easy to walk in the neighbouring countryside without impinging on anyone  else's personal space.

Our garden looks at its best at this time of year. Daffodils, primroses and hellebores in profusion.

The veg plot is almost ready for planting, but the beds in the foreground are where our dahlias will bloom.

An evening 2.5 miler from Cotehele Quay, taking all of the necessary distancing precautions, of course.

Lots of primroses everywhere on the walk, ranging from mass planting like this bank at the quay to individual plants scattered along the sides of the paths.

Evening falls on the Tamar.

The weir on the Morden Stream just up from Cotehele Mill. This is where the leat for the mill wheel (overshot, if you are wondering) comes from.

A flash of daffodils.

Although Cotehele House is closed 'until further notice' the National Trust are giving free access to the grounds to walkers.

The uplights on the trees would look even better if it was darker.

The Modern Weir. Just listen to the sound of the water and, every now and again, the birdsong.

On the path away from the weir. This illustrates the way in which the sound of running water acted as an accompaniment for most of our walk.

 

 

Coronaviral Politics

When writing about something like the coronavirus epidemic it’s vital to take care that any information you give is correct and accurate. It’s no hyperbole to say that in an epidemic, incorrect or false information can literally make the difference between life and death. It is incumbent upon all of us to ensure that we are measured and thoughtful in our words and language. This is not a time for panic or hysteria.

Yet it has to be said, the response of the British government so far does not inspire confidence. It is not scaremongering to ask why it is that other European countries – countries where the spread of the epidemic is no greater than it is in the UK – have adopted more stringent measures to prevent the spread of the virus than the UK has. The response from the British government to this crisis has been chaotic, ad hoc, and confused. We are led by a bumbling and mumbling oaf who lies and lies again, a man who has never considered anything except his own selfish interest. He, and his government, does not inspire confidence.

When I was a child, a long, long time ago, there was a widespread grudging acceptance that ‘they’ knew what they were doing. They might have been selfish and greedy, but they were smarter than us, better educated, better informed. And then in the 1980s the British government tried to tell us that we could protect ourselves from a nuclear explosion by hiding under the kitchen table and any pretence that ‘they’ were competent went up in a mushroom cloud. There’s been a long slow decline in public faith in British institutions ever since. And now we have Boris Johnson, lying his way into power, smirking and smug, mumbling and stumbling, venal and vain. No one with a functioning set of neurones can believe that this man has our best interests at heart. It is not unreasonable to ask whether Boris Johnson and his cronies, who are motivated solely by money and greed, have taken the decision to protect the economy at the expense of the people. Because if that’s the case, it is unforgivable.

We’re hearing a lot about herd immunity. Boris Johnson and the Conservative government have no doubt thought about the rest of us as a herd for quite a while. The phrase means that immunity within a population prevents an infection from spreading as most people are resistant. Most estimates that I’ve been able to find suggest that herd immunity is only effective once around 60% of a population have an immune system which is resistant to the infective agent. The worrying thing, however, is that most people are not currently immune to the covid-19 virus. Since there is as yet no vaccine and won’t be for at least a year, currently the only way that anyone can develop immunity is to contract the infection and allow their immune system to build up antibodies against the virus.  It is true, and it cannot be stressed enough, that the overwhelming majority of people who contract the virus will experience mild symptoms or even no symptoms at all.  However the issue here is that the disease appears to have a mortality rate of 1%. Allowing 60% of 66 million people to contract a virus and then 1% of them will die … well you do the maths. Yet these aren’t just numbers, they’re human lives.

Other countries are trying to protect their citizens from the outbreak and to minimise the number who contract the infection. This will have a dire effect on the economies of those countries. The strategy of the UK government is to allow the infection to happen, but to try and make it happen slowly enough that the NHS will not be overwhelmed and to minimise the damage to the UK economy. The only way to allow herd immunity to build up is to allow the infection to spread, with entirely predictable consequences. People will die as a result of Conservative policy. It won’t be the fit, the economically active, the better fed, the well sheltered. It will be the old, the chronically ill, the homeless, the poor. It will be those whom the Conservatives with their price of everything and value of nothing philosophy will consider expendable. What makes this worse is that the NHS is reeling from the effects of a decade of austerity and creeping privatisation. It is a system which is creaking and straining at the best of times.

We will get through this, with love, compassion, care, and kindness. We will get through this if we respect each other, and above all if we adopt common sense measures. Avoid large public gatherings. Wash your hands thoroughly and regularly. Don’t hoard or panic buy. Stay at home if you think you have symptoms. Minimise contact with those who are at high risk – the elderly, the chronically sick and those with compromised immune systems. And this will pass as all things must pass. There is life on the other side of the fear, there is dawn on the other side of the darkness.

When it does pass, that is the time for deliberate on the lessons that we have learned, lessons about the venality of the British government and the Conservative party. Lessons that the next leader of the Labour party must take on board. Get that right and there's a chance that we'll teach Bozza his own lesson that he won't like.

A walk with a lttle bit of everything, especially mud

It was Thursday and time for another walk with our U3A group from Gunnislake. A reasonable weather forecast and a route that was new to Mrs P and myself. In the event it turned out to be an excellent jaunt, with much to see and enjoy.

We started near Liskeard station and took a bus to Duloe. From there we followed the Looe river down the valley to the sea, at Looe. It came out at just under 6 miles. It didn't rain and, when the sun shone, it was quite warm. As the elevation profile shows, the first mile or so was quite flat, followed by quite a steep descent and then flat again as we walked along the river bank. What gave this walk an extra twist was...…………….

…….mud. Plenty of mud. Foot gripping, muscle sapping mud. 

Following an arduous 300 yard walk from the bus stop, we decided that it was time for our mid-morning break. And where best to rest up than in the local church - St Cuby's at Duloe? If you think the tower is leaning, you'd be right. It was much taller than this but the Victorians took the upper stage off to try and stabilise it. They put the pyramidal roof on at the same time. It was thought that, originally, there would have been a spire because the size of the tower appears to be too big for anything else. There is a local legend that the tower was leaning due to all of the smuggled goods stored there. Who knows if it's true but it's a good story.St Cuby (or Cybi) was a bishop who is said to have preached and founded churches at Duloe and Tregony before carrying out most of his ministry in Wales. He was a cousin of Dewi Sant, as his mother was the sister of Nonna, Dewi Sant's mother.

St Cuby's lies within a raised circular churchyard which is probably a lan (Celtic-style holy enclosure) and indicates a very early religious affiliation. The church as we see it today is medieval and later. The tower is mainly 13^th century, the Coleshull chantry chapel is late 15^th century, while the remainder of the fabric is the result of a regrettably, but perhaps necessarily, thorough Victorian rebuilding.
One of the unexpected pleasures of St Cuby's was the fine collection of elaborately carved slate monuments/headstones that can be found there. This coffin shaped one is of in memory of Ann Smith and is dated 1592. She has a high-crowned hat and ruff, with a very ornately patterned gown. In one hand she holds a pair of gloves and in the other a (prayer?) book. Another little detail that I like is the carved skull between her feet. A 'memento mori'. 

This slate is a memorial to Mary Arundell who was buried on 8th June 1629. Her age was not given but the assumption is that she was quite young. The monument is odd in that it shows two female figures but commemorates only one person. One explanation is that the smaller figure is apparently that of a little child and may symbolise the idea that Mary had made a miraculous recovery from a serious illness when she was very young. We'll never know for sure but it's got to be something along these lines.

This is my favourite one of the carvings as there's a lot to subtle detail to take in. There are two female figures facing each other over an altar. The woman on the right is wearing Jacobean garb and kneeling behind her  are two daughters, one of whom has a skull carved above her head, indicating that she had pre-deceased her mother. The woman on the opposite side is wearing clothes from the later period of Charles I. She has two sons behind her and also another son and a daughter, both of whom have a skull above them. The identity of this family is unknown as all of the shields are blank, which begs the question of why it was never finished off. It could be part of a tomb chest although there is no evidence of such a tomb having been in the church.

Another unusual feature of St Cuby's is the 15th century chantry chapel of Sir John Colshull. A chantry chapel is a place where prayers (paid for!) were said for the dead at regular intervals, the idea being that this would aid in his/her resurrection. In his day, Sir John was one of the three most important men in Cornwall. The  tomb shows the knight in his plate armour. It's impressive, albeit showing a little wear.

A reminder of the days when pews came with a price and only the rich could afford to get a seat. Luckily the Incorporate Church Building Society (looks like they got the name wrong on the board) was there to provide free seats. 

With a rapidly growing population, in the early decades of the 19^th century there was a severe shortage of churches. In some parts of London there were barely enough places in parish churches for one in nine of the population. And many people in the Church of England feared the rise of nonconformity and competition from Methodism. In the 19^th Century, the ICBS was responsible for the building and enlargement of hundreds of Anglican churches and chapels. Many hundreds of thousands of new spaces were provided in parish churches, the majority of them free for anyone to occupy, in contrast to the then customary provision of private pews.

And here are some of the free pews for the peasants. I wonder if you have to be means tested to see if you are poor enough to sit in them today? Or, perhaps, with the falling attendance seen in most churches, nowadays people are paid to use them?

Just sunshine on the choir stalls.

Dropping down to the river along a very steep track, although it doesn't look as steep as it really was in this photograph. I think we were all happy that we weren't doing this bit in the reverse direction.

Not a straightforward river side walk. Lots of natural hazards and awkward bits to negotiate.

The river in full spate. This was actually a ford. I'm not sure how often it is passable as the river seems pretty deep here.

Duck! Yet another thing to negotiate.

It's a good year for catkins.

It's also a good year for ferns. It's mind boggling to think of how many spores will eventually be released from the sporangia we can see. Well, it boggles my mind if not yours. But, then, I'm very easily boggled. It's an age thing.

An Oystercatcher with its stocky beak. Apparently it's got the biggest beak of all of our waders. Just the job for coping with its diet of shellfish - cockles and mussels (alive, alive oh) but rarely oysters in the UK. One of my bird books tells me that there are two subspecies of Oystercatchers - the 'stabbers', that prise open their food, and the 'hammerers' that smash the shells of their prey. The scientific name for the bird, Haematopus ostralegus, comes from the Greek haima αἳμα (blood), pous πούς (foot) and the Latin ostrea (oyster) and legere (to collect or pick). Here's a random fact: A group of Oystercatchers are known as a "parcel" or "stew". And another one: when feeding inland, they feed on worms, digging for which their stout beak is just what is needed.

Curlew or Eurasian Curlew. Another wader but with a completely different beak. This one is curved and ideally designed for probing in mud and silt for worms, shrimps etc. Here's another curlew fact: because of the way the beak is constructed for strength, it's tongue is relatively short and cannot help in the feeding process. Fancy that.
The curlew's genus name Numenius refers to the shape of its bill. Numenius comes from two Greek words, ‘neos’ meaning new and ‘mene’ for moon, alluding to the crescent-shaped of the bill. The species name also refers to the shape of its bill, as arquata is the Latin for the archery bow. Put it all together and you get Numenius arquata.

And the river flows into the sea. Almost but not quite. Boats moored alongside the quay at East Looe.

Whilst in West Looe, just across the river, the boats are stuck on the mud.

On being lazy.

Every now and again, I dip into my draft folder of things I've written and forgotten about or things that I never got around to finishing or things that are too intemperate even by my standards to post or things for which the moment is past (who remembers Nick Clegg? No point ranting about him any more, is there?). I've just come across this incomplete piece from six years ago and thought I'd indulge in a little whimsy (and a touch of hyperbole, so don't take it too literally) to finish it off.

A fellow blogger, whose name is lost in the mists of time (sorry, but you'll recognise the connection, if you read this), admitted in a post to being lazy.  She (I remember that much) was unapologetic about being lazy; in fact, she felt the world needs more lazy people. I've never really considered myself to be a lazy person and, in the past (at my present age, let's be honest, I really don't care what people think), I probably would have been ashamed of being thought so. That's the Protestant work ethic for you! The Unknown Blogger, however, has made me reevaluate my attitude. Perhaps she has a point.

Think about this exemplar, if you will. Lazy people do not start wars. If more world leaders were lazy, we would not have wars. Throughout history, it's those damn energetic people who want to do 'stuff' and control things who have started wars and created havoc on many fronts. A few more examples for you by way of illustration.

A lazy Adolph Hitler, for instance, would still have had abhorrent and virulent anti-Semitic views, but he would have been too lazy to act on his hate. Osama Bin Laden would have still hated the West but he would have been too happy staring at the mountains and clouds from his cave to do anything about it. And if Christians of mediaeval times had been lazier, there would have never have been The Crusades. They would have just left a few flyers on Muslim doors with the message, “Hey, give Christianity a try…or not. Whatever”. A lazy David Cameron would have stayed in his shepherd's hut and not called a referendum. A lazy Nigel Farage would not have strayed far from his bar stool and we would never have had UKIP or the Brexit Party. A lazy Bozza would have been content with a career as an adulterous lecher.

Energetic people don’t invent things, lazy people do. Energetic people move heavy stuff by pushing and shoving like hell. It took a lazy person to invent the wheel and the lever: he (or she - no gender bias in this blog) was just too lazy to push and looked for the easier option. Energetic people were perfectly happy to travel many miles to deliver a message by hand. But Alexander Bell, by all accounts a naturally indolent person, invented the telephone to save himself time and energy.

I'm easy to please. I don’t need much, just food, sleep and the occasional cwtch (not a euphemism. Look it up). I don’t cause trouble, I don’t speed on the roads, I don’t make a lot of noise, I don’t complain. All that stuff requires energy. I try not to put too much effort into anything over and above what is absolutely necessary to get the job done. I guess that means that I’m lazy. If everyone was lazy, we would all do only what was required to survive. Plant some food, build a hut, eat, sleep, and procreate.  There would be no reason to accumulate stuff, no need to keep up with the Joneses as the Joneses would be lazy too.

Lazy, for lack of a better word, is good. The way I see it, laziness is, in fact, a Godly virtue - the unwritten 11th Commandment - Thou shalt be lazy. Here’s a few more reasons why:
 
1) Lazy People Are Good For the Environment
Think about it. They consume less. It makes sense: if you are too lazy to earn big money and too lazy to enjoy the dreadful chore that is shopping, then you just get by without a lot of things and this makes you an eco-warrior.

2) Lazy People Are Safer
Driving fast takes a lot of effort. It’s far easier to relax and cruise just below the speed limit. 
 
3) Lazy People Cause Less Noise Pollution
If you’re lazy like me, you get all self-righteous and grumpy at weekends when all those damn un-lazy nutters are out with their garden machinery making a bloody great racket. Why can’t they just do what me and all the other Lazy Bs are doing – nothing much. Admittedly, the lawn might get out of control but A) who cares? and B) at least you can snuggle into bed at night knowing you weren’t responsible for any shift-workers going to work all sleep deprived due to edge trimmers and lawn mowers and then losing an arm in an industrial accident.

4) Lazy People Promote World Peace:
You ever hear of a perennially Lazy B joining the Army? Of course, you haven't.
Here's a case in point: John and Yoko doing their whole bed-in routine. If everyone was as lazy as those hipsters were, there would never be another war ever because running around doing press-ups and making your bed at 5am is too much hard work - man!
 
5) Lazy People Make the Best Music:
Fact: I have never known a decent musician who was NOT completely lazy and self-centered. By the way, all those uber-motivated types you see bouncing up and down in video clips are not decent musicians. They are weird little ego-maniacs who need to be noticed - or ignored.
 
  6) Lazy People Are Naturally Enlightened Masters:
Nowadays many people pay good money to learn how to meditate or 'do' mindfulness. We Lazy Bs don't need to do this as we spend so much time just happily staring into space, our minds a complete void of any content whatsoever, that we generally cross the enlightenment threshold very early on in our lives.

7) Lazy People Don’t Expect Anything Much Of Others:
This is the greatest thing about the Lazy Bs. Unlike all the other demanding so-and-so’s who just never seem to get out of your face with their “urgent” this and their “important” that, Lazy Bs want but one thing from you: for you to call and order the take-away and turn the TV on.
 
So the next time you feel like denigrating someone for being lazy, think long and hard about whether it’s worth your effort. The Lazy B couldn't care a toss what you think so why waste your breath and energy?

And how's this for a Lazy Bs theme tune?

Keep your hands off our BBC

There have been reports that the government intends to abolish the TV licence fee and turn the BBC into a commercial organisation. Boris Johnson’s Igor, Dominic Cummings, alledgedly has an ideological conviction that the public service broadcaster ought to fund itself through a subscription service, similar to that used by Netflix or Amazon. The revamped BBC would then only be available to those who had paid the fee. The reaction from most people seems to be “meh”. To be honest, there may be little affection for the BBC in some quarters but what we can be quite sure of is that, if the Conservatives replace the BBC, they’ll give us something that’s even worse.

There’s little love lost between the BBC and Boris Johnson. The Prime Minister believes that the role of the BBC ought to be as a cheerleader for him and his government, and it should devote itself to holding nasty socialists and Scottish separatists to account. That’s the job of the BBC, not pointing out that yet again the Prime Minister has failed to be arsed enough to visit areas of England and Wales devastated by flooding. Remember that it took a campaign of shaming him on social media last year to get him to visit the flooded areas in South Yorkshire. Although to be fair, the BBC hasn’t pointed it out, everyone else has.

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson doesn’t do flood victims, he only does voters. He’ll be back up to northern England in four years time, blaming the EU for something or other that hasn't happened. He didn’t show up for anything when he was running for PM, so he’s certainly not about to start showing up for stuff now. He might have sired a litter of children that he refuses to acknowledge, but his refusal to put in an appearance when he’s expected to does at least prove that he knows how to practice the withdrawal method (boom boom!).

The BBC has resolutely and bravely not mentioned his absence from the scene of the flooding. There’s that holding power to account that we all pay our licence fee for. Someone should tell Johnson that what the flooded areas really need is a huge bridge and then he’d be there within minutes. It’s far more important for the welfare of the UK that the Prime Minister spends some quality time in a luxury mansion with 115 bedrooms, set on a 3500 acre estate. He’s staying this week at Chevening in Kent. He does not intend to hold a COBRA emergency committee meeting or pay a trip to areas affected by the weather. Chevening doesn’t just have luxury accommodation, it also possesses a very nice selection of fridges. Perhaps he is hiding in one of those, like he did on the election trail before Xmas. The BBC is showing us all that it is worth the licence fee by its calling out the Prime Minister for not doing one of the basics of his job, to reassure the public during a time of stress and emergency. Oh wait. Of course it’s not.

We’ve only had this majority Tory government for a couple of months and already we’ve got a Prime Minister who makes a habit of being absent during a national emergency, and using distraction techniques in the form of discussions of a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland.  A bridge that will never get built. We’ve had eugenics, racist lies about IQs, discussion about enforced contraception of the poor, rampant xenophobia, a Home Office that insisted a 101 year old Italian man who has lived in the UK longer than Boris Johnson has been alive bring his parents to an interview in order to verify his identity before he can be given permission to remain in the UK. We’ve had attempts to prevent judges from holding the government to account, forced deportations of Jamaican born people who have done the exact same kinds of things as the US born Johnson (yet strangely he’s not up for deportation. Who knew?). We’ve got the perma-angry Dominic Raab as Foreign Secretary and not even in an ironic way, a Home Secretary who possesses a Daily Mail wet dream combination of stupidity and vindictiveness, the suppression of the report into Russian meddling in UK politics, the loss of freedom of movement, the denial of Scottish democracy, incipient fascism and now there’s attempts to prevent the BBC from challenging the Conservatives.

It’s a catalogue of crap, a litany of loathsomeness, an enumeration of excrement. We’ve had all this, and the Tories have only just started. There’s going to be another five years of this, and most likely another ten since there’s little prospect of the Labour party getting its act together any time soon. Where is the security and stability, the protection from extremism, the love and respect, we were promised during the recent Hustings? I know it's early days yet and that I shouldn't jump to conclusions but, to me, the British state is failing. It’s a moral, intellectual and political failure. And it’s only going to get worse. A pox on all who voted for them.