It would clean everything: stone, wood, tiles, carpets, pots, pans, drains, drums, sinks, suits and all with nothing more than a cup full of water. With such a steam cleaner my life could be transformed. I could banish dirt, odour, disease, and quite probably wickedness and the Tories, from this world. I could sanitise our dog, banish wet-wipes from our nappy changing routine, make our Christmas tree baubles sparkle, deep-clean the shower nozzle and resurrect life into our upholstery. I could do all that with just the flick of a switch and a confident smile on my face. The very thought of sleep became impossible until I had acquired such a machine myself and, since it was delivered, I haven't had much time to sleep because of my passion to make everything clean. Not just any old clean but H20 Mop x5 clean. The hall carpet and the kitchen floor were fine for starters, but very soon my horizons' expanded. Friends are starting to steer clear of me because they know that they are likely to get a cleansing dose of steam if they stand still for too long. The lamp-posts up our road shine with a radiance that can outmatch any halogen bulb. It is the glow of cleanliness, the shimmer of spotlessness - as only a H20 Mop X5 can bring.
Fear not: once I have steam-cleaned the rest of East Cornwall, I will return to regular blogging. And if you don't believe the powers of this amazing piece of high technology, watch this short video and be astounded. I'm glad I bought mine before the rush.
(To avoid any misunderstanding, I should add that our house is the last place on earth that needs any steam cleaning).