On this day, 19th March 2014, I do solemnly vow...............

.........That no person present at my funeral service will be forced to listen to any of the top 20 songs cited as being currently requested at funerals:

1. Frank Sinatra – 'My Way'
2. Sarah Brightman/Andrea Bocelli – 'Time To Say Goodbye'
3. Bette Midler – 'Wind Beneath My Wings'
4. Eva Cassidy – 'Over the Rainbow'
5. Robbie Williams – 'Angels'
6. Westlife – 'You Raise Me Up'
7. Gerry and the Pacemakers – 'You'll Never Walk Alone'
8. Vera Lynn – 'We'll Meet Again'
9. Celine Dion – 'My Heart Will Go On'
10. Nat King Cole – 'Unforgettable'
11. Tina Turner – 'The Best'
12. Whitney Houston/Dolly Parton – 'I Will Always Love You'
13. Monty Python – 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'
14. Luther Vandross – 'Dance With My Father'
15. Louis Armstrong – 'Wonderful World'
16. Daniel O'Donnell – 'Danny Boy'
17. Eva Cassidy – 'Fields of Gold'
18. Righteous Brothers  – 'Unchained Melody'
19. Westlife – 'Flying Without Wings'
20. Eva Cassidy – 'Songbird'

I'd rather be dead than let my friends and family sit through any of these. The data come from a recent poll of UK funeral directors reported on a news feed I get. News? They think it's news? Notwithstanding that, the poll also showed a decline in hymns in favour of pop music at two-thirds of British services. Apparently, and surprisingly, only 4% of services feature classical music in one form or another.

So, what music would I want played at my funeral? It's not something that I've yet given any serious thought to but, when I do, I know one hymn that will take pride of place: 'For those in peril of the sea'. An odd choice, perhaps, but it's my choice. And if I can't have what I want at my own funeral, when can I? Why do I want it? Because I like it and, as my dear old nan Florrie B, used to say "worse things happen at sea". I wonder how she'd rationalise this one.

And here's a rather endearingly ragged version of the said hymn - with words if you want to sing along. I did but kept lapsing into a rather sepulchral pitch - as if singing from inside a box.......