How to be a parent - a grandparent's view

A friend posted on Facebook a link to a website and an entry entitled "How to be a Parent" (you can find it here). It gives a series of amusing pictorial 'do's and don'ts' for parents (aspiring and actual, I presume). Some I agree with: others I don't. Having contributed to the raising of two children and currently going through the joys of grand parenthood, I reckon I have enough battle-honed experience to offer valid comments on some of the entries.

Everyone knows that babies should be lifted by their ears. That's why they stick out so much.

Using a wristwatch to time the drying cycle is a no no. Best use the timer on the machine itself as you might wander off for a drink and forget that the baby is in it. After all, safety first when it comes to babies.

The chap on the right is doing it all wrong. What about lower body strength? A top heavy toddler is not a pretty sight so provide exercise for those chubby little legs.

Quite right too: putting them in the body of the trolley means that they get free access to all the food. Leave them chained up outside the supermarket by the dog bowl - that way they get a drink as well..

Best done with the thumbs at the back of the head and with your little fingers pulling the mouth into shape.

What sort of man puts a baby in a fish tank without a snorkel? Remember: safety first.

An eminently practical solution to the problem and it's only bad if you do it with cold water. Oh yes, make sure that the bowl has holes at the bottom to allow the water to run out.